Thursday, August 7, 2008

Automaton Transfusion (2006; Steven C. Miller)



Okay, I, like so many others, love zombies. They are just loads of fun. However, the one problem with zombies is that while they are great, their movies are not. I feel that no matter how much I want to believe that most zombie movies are just fun and not good in any real way, I am constantly reminded that more often then not, they are just not good... and that is all. So on that note I bring you...

Automaton Dysfunction

I want to make this clear right now; the movie is still running as I write this review. I want to make that perfectly clear so people realize that while I find it very wrong to never finish a movie by shutting it off, I have no shame in just not paying attention to it. This movie has been called the greatest zombie movie in years, which I found very hard to swallow. This movie is just so awful that I am not even going to discuss the theme, I am just going to try and remember as many things I hate about it as possible.

1. Most of the zombies are in white shirts. Why? They were too cheap to get fake blood on any real shirts.
2. The fuck is up with the camera? Is that suppose to be style or just not a good camera? The picture blurs with a lot of movement and it gives me a headache.
3. I know watching high school stereotypes is obnoxious in most cases, but hiring what appears to be real high school quality actors as well... come on.
4. No, Evil Dead references are not funny.
5. Black characters who make witty comments are not hard asses, they are just annoying.
6. Zombies are not going to sit in front of your gun while you proclaim "I think you have had enough to eat for one day".
7. Fuck.
8. The sharp point through the eye was great... when it was done first. Copycats.
9. Which leads me to believe that the fetus eating scene was stolen too.
10. GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY! SPOOKY!
11. Christ, that music. No real person likes that obnoxious noise except for teenagers who want attention, which leads me to...
12. The director must be a teenager to be responsible for such garbage.

On the bright side, the gore effects were pretty decent. They also had a good idea on lingering on a few deaths, which adds to the uncomfortable feeling of someone dying.

Score: 1/5

Notes: Fetus, Gore, Cheerleaders

1 comment:

Nate Sexton said...

There are cheerleaders in this? What have I been missing?!