Attack the Gas Station (1999; Kim Sang-jin)

What comes to mind when you read a title like Attack the Gas Station? Frankly, I had absolutely no idea what to think about it at all. The concept itself is odd, but not the annoying forced odd in films like Tokyo Gore Police that just irritate you. No, it sounded like some form of odd that could almost be compelling if crafted by the right hands.



Four Korean youth decide to attack a gas station.

No matter how I tried to wrap my head around it all, there always just seemed to be something missing. The idea of four trouble makers attacking a gas station hardly seemed like enough material to warrant an entire full length film. How much action could one possibly churn out of a limited cast doing what is essentially only robbing a single store.

Apparently you can derive endless action out of it, as that is exactly what Sang-jin accomplished. While I am not an expert in his works, I must say that after watching this piece a few weeks back that every other film he has done is now on my list of "must watch". Whatever it is that drives him to these ideas is like nothing I have ever seen in any other director before. To be able to craft such a stylized action comedy out of a simple title is just mastery of his craft at work.

I am going to make my analysis brief for this one, as most of the film is spoken for in just the title itself. Don't get me wrong, however, this is not some childish Apatow piece trying to soak up some cash from drug addled teenagers. The comedy in AtGS is both simple and at the same time very much more matured and thought through than what passes as comedy in the US today.

The colors tended to be sharp, adding more of an edge to the action sequences, of which there were many. The music was very much on key with the tone of the rest of the film and the camera never made itself unwelcome. It all shaped up into a breath of fresh air for me, as I no longer felt I had to wait for only the Coen Brothers to craft the comedies I enjoy.

Score: 4.5/5

Score: Attack the Gas Station, otherwise known as A New Way of Applying for Jobs

Kichiku Dai Enkai (1997; Kazuyoshi Kumakiri)

Kichiku Dai Enkai comes off as sort of an inspirational film, as strange as that may sound. Not to the degree that I find their vague rebellionism inspiring or that I find their clothing so hip to the jive. It is more that this film plays like a gore film should. It has some good effects, some half decent acting, and even some good camera work. What is so inspirational about that? This was Kumakiri's senior thesis in college and is really just his college buddies messing around on tape.


As the story goes, some political college group gets in trouble and their beloved leader goes to jail. He decided to put his girlfriend in charge of the group which begins to sew discontent, etc.

I'm going to keep this review on the short side as I already wrote another review recently and I really should be writing papers instead. As stated before, this is a college level piece, but don't let that give you any wrong ideas. The only thing that gives away that this is a college work is the fact that the stars are all college aged.

The camera is what really sold me. While it has an amateur feel to it, it also portrays a very serious and skilled knowledge of the do's and do not's. The first Evil Dead film comes to mind as a comparison, however, I feel that Kumakiri does it a little better than young Raimi.

The score is sparse (whether it be from lack of budget or actual choice I'm not sure) but is effective enough when used. The real problem here lies with the pacing. To succeed at making a slowly paced, character driven piece (which believe it or not is what this film is) you really need to have actors that shine and can carry a lot of weight with their dialogue. While this shows ambition, it really isn't an area that tends to excel in college works. While I doubt it was naivity on Kumakiri's part, it still is a wound that the film never really can rebound from.

Score: 3/5

Notes: Slow Pacing? Character Development? In a gore film?

Sling Blade (1996; Billy Bob Thorton)

A film highly overlooked by most people due mostly to the monolithic success that was Forrest Gump, Sling Blade is... wait a minute. I never review anything up here...


Much better. Well, I might as well do the plot first too... Karl, a mildly handicapped individual, is put into a mental hospital after killing his mother and her lover at a very young age. Fast forward a few years and now it is time for Karl to be released as an adult to create a life of his own. With great unease the hospital releases him, and we get front row seats to just how adapted Karl is.

Alright, now to backtrack, Sling Blade was regrettably ignored by most people (myself included... but I was 6, give me a break) during the colossal reign of Forrest Gump. I'm not saying Forrest Gump didn't deserve the attention, but we need to learn to spread the love a little more.


The first moments of the film where we witness Karl's interview with a young girl writing for her school newspaper and then his eventual release set an unforgettable tone of unease. This is our first introduction to Karl, and we are thrown right in with the rest of the characters as we try to figure out whether Karl has really recovered. This part of the film seals the deal as to why Forrest Gump won out. The light-hearted sides of film tend to sell better.

That isn't to say that the entire film has a serious tone about it, that is. In actuality, the film does have quite the mixture of emotions thrown into it with great success. Add on top of that a great timely soundtrack to fit the southern atmosphere and baby, you got a stew going.

The only thing I can dock this film for is the lack of replay action it will get (which is another contrast to Forrest Gump). This film is a beast (two and a half hours or something like that) and it just didn't feel like the material was enough to warrant frequent repeats (it was damn close, though).

Score: 4/5

Notes: Hades (Some people call it Hell, but I call it Hades)

Jacob's Ladder (1990; Adrian Lyne)

It has taken me a long time to thing of something to write as an introduction to this review. I had all these wonderfully constructed things to say in my mind about the movie, but nothing as an introduction. Then I finally gave up and put this.


Jacob is a Vietnam veteran who has returned home to New York (I think it was New York... whatever, just Big City X). He had gotten a doctorate degree, been divorced, and is now dating a woman who works at the post office with him (despite his doctorate, yes). His life starts to go off has he begins to flashback to a certain day in Vietnam where his platoon was attacked and he, himself, was injured. His flashbacks begin to manifest themselves into reality, having an effect on his health and daily life. As to prevent giving away much else, the rest of the film is him combating his flashbacks and memories of his past.

I find it hard to limit myself to such a summary of this film. To really get a grasp on what I am going to try and explain to you, you really just have to watch it for yourself. This film is so heavily event driven that reviewing it will be hard without being able to directly reference certain events. I will try and express what I can anyway, however, as I feel this is a neglected film that needs to be heard.

Jacob's Ladder is for all extents and purposes, a film about a man's struggle within himself. While that is pretty generic sounding, you have to realize that it really is a man's struggle within himself. The genius of Lyne's work is that he makes all the events, no matter how disturbing, completely grounded into reality on some sort of level. This is very important in the impact of the film as it drives you so strongly convinced of reality until the last scene of the film.

The whole film is built off of dual meaning. While you are watching the film, every event is both significant in the life of Jacob as he perceives it, and as a symbol in the struggle he is having. I am trying to drive home to you that this film is a lot deeper than just gore and drama on screen.


I know the previous segment will be hard to follow without having actually seen the film, and I apologize that I really can't simplify it anymore. I needed to stress the importance of the symbolism so that people don't walk away feeling the ending as some sort of cop-out. That could completely ruin the whole film for them, and they don't even realize they are missing out on what they really just saw. Now I will discuss some of the more technical aspects I usually cover so that there is at least one part in this review people who have yet to watch this movie can grasp.

At first I was weary as the camera felt sort of dull and unmotivated to really capture any scene with any real form of emotion. However, I quickly found out how wrong I was as the film threw me into some of the most wonderful visuals I can remember seeing in recent history. The soundtrack is unmemorable (there might not even be one... that is how forgettable it is) and is the only truly real disappoint in my mind at the moment. That rounds off this review with a...

Score: 4/5

Notes: Hippy Scientists, No Post-Production Special Effects

The Last Broadcast (1998; Stefan Avalos & Lance Weiler)

As stated many times before, I love mockumentaries.


That is all I have.



Two men (pictured above) run a small time television show that is quickly losing it's crowd. In order to get some attention back, they decide to do a live broadcast of them hunting down the Jersey Devil. They hire two other men to accompany them into the woods and then everything falls apart. Three of the men are murdered and the fourth is determined to be the guilty one. What we watch is a documentary about the case and how the host feels that the fourth man is very much innocent.

My reviews on mockumentaries always have to be short due to the fact that not much can be said about the cinematography or score. This leads me to a very blunt point... if you enjoy this style of cinema, you will very much enjoy this film. If you however have no fondness for this ilk of film, then you should just walk away, because apart from the ending, no "new" ground is struck with this one.

Any of you who cared enough to reach this point.. this is for you. I feel this film lovingly crafts a murder mystery in with a spice of horror all wrapped up in my favorite bow of mockumentary reality. From the get go we are bombarded with facts from the case that seemingly pointed to the fourth man as the guilty party, but as the digging becomes more intense, more evidence comes to light that makes us not as sure as we were before.

The reason I am going to knock points off of the final score is for the ending. While it was a gutsy move to pull, I felt that a more... Blair Witch ending would have fit better. If you see the film you will understand what I mean.

Score: 4/5

Notes: Mockumentary on a Documentary

Tremors (1990; Ron Underwood)

I don't care what anybody says about this movie, I just can not take it seriously. I feel that as much as it may try to be an exercise in claustrophobic suspense, I see it more as a silly 90's take on a monster film.


That being said, it in no way makes the film bad, you just have to know what to expect. A group of southern hicks get trapped in their valley when four giant.. worm things attack and start dragging people under the dirt.

While keeping my reviews undeniably fresh, the cinematography in this film is keeping the vision of the filmmaker undeniably bland. By bland I mean if you took the textbook on the basics of working a camera and made a movie on it, this is what you would have. The sheer blandness is making my vocabulary so bland that I have used bland too many times in this review already.

I want to keep this review on a high note however, as not everything about this movie is (you know the word by now). The acting was good enough to hold the story together, and by that I mean the acting was obviously made over the top to balance out the fact that the entire movie is based down below.

I could sit here and try and chalk away at why this film is not exceptional, or I could tell you that you should approach this movie differently. If you walk up to this movie with the idea that you just want to sit down to a good ol' monster flick, then that is exactly what you will get. Much like slasher flicks, monster movies have almost their own set of rules. All they really need to work are the monsters to terrorize and the people to be terrorized. Throw in some explosions and some death and it should sell.

What was the point of me going on about the cinematography then? Just to simply show you that while monster movies have some of their own rules, they aren't allowed to be lazy and/or uncreative and still expect a top score.

Score: 2/5

Notes: Chick Without Pants, Elephant Guns

Dellamorte, Dellamore (1994; Michele Soavi)

Wow, as a way to piss on my own parade, I am reviewing a horror movie. I didn't really mean to play it out that way, but I think of it as a way to express my power over this site. I am the all powerful one here, and I can break any rules I set for myself.


Francesco Dellamorte runs the cemetery in a town. He is such a private person, that when the dead start to rise, he chooses to keep it between him and his mentally ill companion, then to tell the world and get help.

This just so happens to be one of my favorite zombie films ever created. While still a zombie film, it has it's own branch of originality in it's story telling. This is not a zombie outbreak, but a zombie containment scenario. As a horror-comedy, it has the feel of a classic zombie film, with the environment beautifully constructed and plenty of gratuitous violence and nudity, while at the same time it has the comedy blended into the dialogue and scenarios so perfectly it never feels forced into the movie. The dark tone of the humor makes sure that it never needs to reconstruct it's tense nature whenever they want to throw some more zombies into the mix.

The cinematography, while obviously inspired by the countless other successful zombie films before it, makes a mark of it's own with "natural" shake in many of the walking shots and several sweeping shots and "uniquely" placed still shots. I say "unique" because while obviously all of these ideas have been done before (for the most part), it is mastering the timing of when to use all the shots. This applies to all of my reviews. I have to spell it out now because some people felt confused, as if all I wanted in my movies were ridiculous camera moves and anything else was simply too boring.

The small complaint I have with this film is simply that for some reason or another, Francesco feels somewhat absent. I can't help but feel slightly disconnected from his motivations and actions. You do love the character, but it feels as if we are missing a small dimension to make him a complete person.

Score: 4.5/5

Notes: Zombie Love, Zombie Children, and Zombie Boobs

Blair Witch Project (1999; Daniel Myrick & Eduardo Sánchez)

Ah yes, the first review from my top ten. I have been putting off writing reviews for any of the top ten because I feel I will try to delve too much into detail or just leave reviewing behind totally and go straight into worshipping. However, I feel now is as good a time as any, so without any further waiting...

This review, I feel, was the first that was needed for two reasons. Number one, I am continually astounded by the amount of people who still haven't seen this movie. If any of you are reading this, go out and buy two copies. One copy to watch, and the second copy to replace the one you should have had years ago. Number two, I just watched it again.

Three film makers go into the woods to make a documentary about a local legend, "The Blair Witch". Basically a spirit that haunts the local forest near Burkittsville. As time passes in the woods, the unease of the three amateurs starts to become obvious, tension builds between the group itself, and the once comfortable forest seems to grow a whole lot larger.

As people should know, this film is shot from the perspective of our three friends, as we are watching the footage found in their cameras. This leads to endless possibilities in the horror genre (a lot of which are still being explored to this day) and makes for a very unique experience to those unfamiliar with the style. The switches between black and white and color seem to coincide perfectly with the events as they unfold, adding another layer to the already gripping atmosphere.

Without trying to spoil anything, I will say that most of the chills and scares in this film are never shown on camera, leaving the noises we hear and our imagination to piece together what we think is really happening in this forest. To top that off, as days go past and the group becomes lost deeper and deeper in the woods, tempers flare constantly as sanity slowly slips through their fingers.

It was only supposed to be a movie.

Score: 5/5

Notes: People Don't Own This (Make Them)

Gay Niggers from Outerspace (1992; Morten Lindberg)

Yeah, really. That is the name. I am not actually going to write a review, I just thought posting this would make some of you aware that it exists. With something like this, you already know if you are going to like it or not by the time you finish reading the title. It really isn't even worth putting a score up, because the film is just so ludicrous.